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Sunday 30 October 2016

A Timely Fog

As my taxi snakes its way through the early hours of the morning towards home, I lift my sleepy head and glance out of the cold window. There’s hardly anyone about. We pass the couple kissing on the corner and the Halloween witches staggering home, post-party. We turn corners deeply familiar to me and glide up the hill beyond the common. The scent of the Citrus Burst car freshener smashes into my olfactory nerve. I pull the phone out of my pocket and check the time: 02:17. It takes me a second to realise that we’ve already gained an extra hour. With clocks falling back and autumn here yet again, time seems to have sped up. I don’t know if it is the seasonal change, the cocktails or the thick fog now descending that suddenly makes me feel disorientated; I can’t seem to get my bearings. A memory of seeing the weather alert earlier tumbles into my mind and disappears just as quickly.
I begin to think about the fog surrounding us and what brought it on. Through a culmination of conditions, the cloud of suspended droplets was formed as I danced the night away. Invisible inside the grey, I can’t help but think about life’s events and the consequences they hold. Sometimes things happen to knock us off our feet and leave us winded. And sometimes, moments so small barely register with us. But they all contribute to the personal fog that occasionally descends. And inside this fog, we find it difficult to see which direction we’re facing. Forwards becomes back and up simply vanishes. Everything seems to slow as we lose all sense of orientation. But what if the fog happens for a reason? Could it be that sometimes we need to stop for a moment to breathe? And can the sense of jumbled thoughts actually bring some clarity to a muddled heart? 
When visibility is low we need to keep our hopes high and trust that everything will be ok. 
And as I step out into the dark, damp air, I am struck by an overwhelming feeling that I will soon be seeing blue skies once more.

Saturday 8 October 2016

A Walk and A Wish

A light evening drizzle falls gently onto my face as I close the front door behind me. I walk through the empty streets, pavement glistening beneath my feet. The puppy is excited - she loves our little outings. As we enter the woods, the earthy scent hits me and we are suddenly sheltered from the rain. Everything a few shades darker, it is cosy in here, safe. I release the clip on her harness and watch as she flies off through towering trees like a bolt of black lightning. Her curly tail swinging joyfully in the air as she catches sight of a squirrel. She is free, happy, loved.
And for a while, I’m alone.
Crisping autumnal leaves crunch softly beneath my feet. There’s not another soul around. I pass the blackberry bush, next to the fallen tree, that once held the juiciest berries. The now-withering twigs tell me that a new season is just beginning.
As I continue to walk under the sheltering canopy, my mind leaps effortlessly back to the autumn before. The shift in my heart is palpable; the ghost of a happy memory haunts me.
Noodles comes thundering back and crashes playfully into me, pushing me into the now. I can’t help but smile at how much I love her.
And as we make our way back over soft earth, I close my eyes and make a wish. I feel it fly up and out of the woods. Past the treetops, beyond the rain clouds and out into the universe. Higher and higher, faster and faster it goes…and then suddenly it’s gone.
A parakeet squawks overhead and I look up. Then I smile. On a cool, damp Friday evening, my heart hears the words ‘It’s coming’.