Bloom

I placed each stem carefully in the water filled vase and rearranged them until all the buds were evenly spread out and set them on the table before heading to bed. Once I slipped in between the cool sheets, I stared up at the ceiling with echoes of the week’s heart-breaking news ringing in my ears and slowly drifted off thinking how, once again, the world was a different place.

It was a deep sleep.

Stumbling into the lounge the following morning I glanced over to the table and there, as if by magic, two beautiful bright purple lilies shone out where buds once stood. At some point during the night whilst I was still dreaming, Mother Nature had decided that it was time to reveal her face...and it was breathtaking! Three days later saw the last flower explode open with a flourish to complete the family.

I stared at each and every flower and thought about how, deep within us, must also lie something striking, amazing - buds of potential waiting patiently for the opportunity to unwrap, with love and compassion being the only food needed.

To all the beautiful buds in Norway, China, Africa and elsewhere who left the planet this week and never got the chance to bloom, I send you all the love and light in my heart.

Prime location

Friend: “So, do you like your new home?”

Me: “I really do. I guess it just takes a while to settle somewhere new”

Friend: “But all your boxes are empty now - It’s done.”

Me: “My things are all out but I haven’t even started with the emotional unpacking yet!”

Friend: “Hmmmmm...... Fancy a cup of tea?”

We spend so much time hoovering, cleaning, painting and washing that we forget to do the same for our inner homes. The internal cobwebs have built up slowly and the piles of out of date baggage touch the ceiling. A cold draft whistles through broken, dirty windows and everything is encased in a thick layer of accumulated dust.

So for every minute spent doing our household chores, let’s take an equal amount of time to care for our inner mansion. Put our caring cloth, health hoover and patience polish to good use and work on making it the most beautiful place to live in as possible. Paint our walls a brave, new colour which makes a bold statement about whom we are and choose to be.

The space inside us is real estate gold – the ultimate prime location and we need to take very good care of it. 

I am really missing posting on a weekend...Once I get the internet back in about 3 weeks things will get back to 'normal' (whatever that is). Till then, thanks for staying with it. 

Love and light.

Seeing in the dark

They say that if you are blind, all your other senses are heightened...

A good friend of mine had taken me to a restaurant for the evening on a recent trip to Berlin. This was no ordinary eatery however as I was soon to discover...

We sat expectantly in the dimly lit bar and ordered a drink. After perusing the menu (I am quite indecisive so it took a while), I settled on the 4 course Vegetarian surprise.

Within a minute I learnt that our waitress had long blonde hair, a smile to light up a room and was almost completely blind. Placing my hands on Sandy’s shoulders, we began our journey into the next room. Holding on for dear life, she speedily led us around the restaurant, filled with the sound of chattering diners and clinking cutlery (which occasionally fell with a crash to the floor). Once we were seated, off she trundled to bring us our first course...

And there we were, speechless, in the dark. This was all too uncomfortable for words. The one thing I trusted to show me my place in the world was gone and I could no longer rely on my sight. Finally, after an internal battle, I began to swim in the darkness. My awareness expanded to fill the space around me and I felt more alive and alert than I had done in a long, long time.

Over the course of our meal, we contemplated the meaning of life and everything in between...all in pitch blackness. It was beautiful.

Just as desert was finally demolished, Sandy sat down next to us and we chatted a while about what Berlin is like for her. I told her I would never look at my city with the same eyes again and I imagined her smiling broadly as I led us out (don’t even ask me how I did it).

Sometimes in life we find ourselves standing in darkness, unable to see what is truly around us. At times like this, all we need to do is close our eyes and wait. Seeing is not always about using our eyes. 

Breathe

I knew it was going to be one of those days as I stood there this morning in my swimming trunks, having forgotten my padlock for the locker. After getting re-dressed, I trundled back up to borrow one.

And this really is how the rest of the day went. Just the right amount of challenges appeared to put me in a bit of a funk. Work day over, surely that was it? Two minutes later after tripping out the door and nearly landing flat on my face, I was buffeted by the freak gust of wind which had travelled all the way across London to greet me with an eyeful of dust. Rubbing furiously at them must have been a cue for the heavens to open. Dripping wet, I found myself standing on a packed Central line platform, watching helplessly as train after cramped train came and went with people’s faces squashed against every last piece of glass. At least I was quickly drying off in this 35 degree heat.

I waited patiently for people to alight.

Enter stage left, the mean, hefty businessman.

Now we all know how this next scene plays out...After many heated words in our semi-embraced entanglement, I decided to end our connection with the words ‘You are a very rude man!’ And that was it - the end.

Walking out into the glistening street a few minutes later, the sun once again shined onto my face and the birds sang for me. Then I realised something... At any moment of today I could have just stopped to take a big, deep breath with eyes closed and I would have pushed the reset button. I would have realised that all was OK in my world.

I smiled for the first time as a sense of invincibility washed over me. Tomorrow is another day.