Bloom

I placed each stem carefully in the water filled vase and rearranged them until all the buds were evenly spread out and set them on the table before heading to bed. Once I slipped in between the cool sheets, I stared up at the ceiling with echoes of the week’s heart-breaking news ringing in my ears and slowly drifted off thinking how, once again, the world was a different place.

It was a deep sleep.

Stumbling into the lounge the following morning I glanced over to the table and there, as if by magic, two beautiful bright purple lilies shone out where buds once stood. At some point during the night whilst I was still dreaming, Mother Nature had decided that it was time to reveal her face...and it was breathtaking! Three days later saw the last flower explode open with a flourish to complete the family.

I stared at each and every flower and thought about how, deep within us, must also lie something striking, amazing - buds of potential waiting patiently for the opportunity to unwrap, with love and compassion being the only food needed.

To all the beautiful buds in Norway, China, Africa and elsewhere who left the planet this week and never got the chance to bloom, I send you all the love and light in my heart.

Prime location

Friend: “So, do you like your new home?”

Me: “I really do. I guess it just takes a while to settle somewhere new”

Friend: “But all your boxes are empty now - It’s done.”

Me: “My things are all out but I haven’t even started with the emotional unpacking yet!”

Friend: “Hmmmmm...... Fancy a cup of tea?”

We spend so much time hoovering, cleaning, painting and washing that we forget to do the same for our inner homes. The internal cobwebs have built up slowly and the piles of out of date baggage touch the ceiling. A cold draft whistles through broken, dirty windows and everything is encased in a thick layer of accumulated dust.

So for every minute spent doing our household chores, let’s take an equal amount of time to care for our inner mansion. Put our caring cloth, health hoover and patience polish to good use and work on making it the most beautiful place to live in as possible. Paint our walls a brave, new colour which makes a bold statement about whom we are and choose to be.

The space inside us is real estate gold – the ultimate prime location and we need to take very good care of it. 

I am really missing posting on a weekend...Once I get the internet back in about 3 weeks things will get back to 'normal' (whatever that is). Till then, thanks for staying with it. 

Love and light.

Seeing in the dark

They say that if you are blind, all your other senses are heightened...

A good friend of mine had taken me to a restaurant for the evening on a recent trip to Berlin. This was no ordinary eatery however as I was soon to discover...

We sat expectantly in the dimly lit bar and ordered a drink. After perusing the menu (I am quite indecisive so it took a while), I settled on the 4 course Vegetarian surprise.

Within a minute I learnt that our waitress had long blonde hair, a smile to light up a room and was almost completely blind. Placing my hands on Sandy’s shoulders, we began our journey into the next room. Holding on for dear life, she speedily led us around the restaurant, filled with the sound of chattering diners and clinking cutlery (which occasionally fell with a crash to the floor). Once we were seated, off she trundled to bring us our first course...

And there we were, speechless, in the dark. This was all too uncomfortable for words. The one thing I trusted to show me my place in the world was gone and I could no longer rely on my sight. Finally, after an internal battle, I began to swim in the darkness. My awareness expanded to fill the space around me and I felt more alive and alert than I had done in a long, long time.

Over the course of our meal, we contemplated the meaning of life and everything in between...all in pitch blackness. It was beautiful.

Just as desert was finally demolished, Sandy sat down next to us and we chatted a while about what Berlin is like for her. I told her I would never look at my city with the same eyes again and I imagined her smiling broadly as I led us out (don’t even ask me how I did it).

Sometimes in life we find ourselves standing in darkness, unable to see what is truly around us. At times like this, all we need to do is close our eyes and wait. Seeing is not always about using our eyes. 

Breathe

I knew it was going to be one of those days as I stood there this morning in my swimming trunks, having forgotten my padlock for the locker. After getting re-dressed, I trundled back up to borrow one.

And this really is how the rest of the day went. Just the right amount of challenges appeared to put me in a bit of a funk. Work day over, surely that was it? Two minutes later after tripping out the door and nearly landing flat on my face, I was buffeted by the freak gust of wind which had travelled all the way across London to greet me with an eyeful of dust. Rubbing furiously at them must have been a cue for the heavens to open. Dripping wet, I found myself standing on a packed Central line platform, watching helplessly as train after cramped train came and went with people’s faces squashed against every last piece of glass. At least I was quickly drying off in this 35 degree heat.

I waited patiently for people to alight.

Enter stage left, the mean, hefty businessman.

Now we all know how this next scene plays out...After many heated words in our semi-embraced entanglement, I decided to end our connection with the words ‘You are a very rude man!’ And that was it - the end.

Walking out into the glistening street a few minutes later, the sun once again shined onto my face and the birds sang for me. Then I realised something... At any moment of today I could have just stopped to take a big, deep breath with eyes closed and I would have pushed the reset button. I would have realised that all was OK in my world.

I smiled for the first time as a sense of invincibility washed over me. Tomorrow is another day.  

Home

There is one thing in life that scares me more than ghosts, sharks and closed minds ever could (well maybe not more than the last one). I have always found it incredibly difficult to say goodbye to people and places who have taken up a place in my heart, may it be for decades or even minutes.

Surrounded by boxes piled high atop each other, I am forced to look at some things in my life which only a move of home can trigger. As each and every single material object I own passes through my hands for the briefest of moments, I feel everything that is inseparably linked to them.

The empty room is full to the brim with the echoes of laughter and tears. The walls have held on tightly to every last drop of emotion that radiated from me over the years and has no intention of letting go. There it will remain forever.

Life constantly changes and has to move forward whether we like it or not. The trick is remembering that letting go is not the same as losing.

My friend Dorothy once said ‘There’s no place like home’ and I think she was right. Home is the one place where you can feel safe and warm-a space to re-energise and create. Home is where the heart is and our hearts are inside us all the time, no matter where our journeys take us.






(You may have noticed that this week's blog is a little late...my new home and I still love you though-remember that).

Life in a Day

The lights slowly dimmed and I settled back into my seat. Feeling all warm and cosy I took a sip of my triple shot soy mocha and watched as the opening credits illuminated my face. In less than 30 seconds, the lump in my throat had already appeared and my eyes had started to glisten.

‘Life in a Day’ is a story of, well, a day in the life of us here on planet Earth, created solely by using people’s YouTube videos filmed over the course of a single day in July.

Pretty much throughout the whole hour and a half I was moved, sometimes to tears.

I have always tipped my proverbial hat to us human beings but for the first time I truly understand how amazing life is. It reminded me that even in the face of heart-breaking loss, we can be fearless. Without shoes on our feet, we can still wear a smile. And sometimes, without even realising it, we start a ripple that radiates out across the entire planet.

I was lucky enough to spend some time with one of my inspirations last week who is also in the film. That sunny afternoon, he reached into his pocket and gave me a card upon which were written the words ‘You are beautiful. (Pass it on.) I realised at that moment, he had created a ripple of his own that would extend through and beyond me.

So I am now passing this on to you - You are beautiful! You are amazing! You can be fearless.

Every single day is a golden opportunity to change the world in our own small way and make our home a better place!

(A massive thank you to Davey Wavey for the card and for your inspirational light - Shine on)

Don’t forget to share, follow, comment. I love you.

Second hand

FOR SALE: A complete set of very well worn, second hand beliefs.

These have proven to be very useful to their previous owners and come in one size only.

You may find them a little restricting at times and they will almost certainly feel uncomfortable, causing imbalance and minor irritation. As the new owner you are obliged to carry them around 24/7 regardless of how heavy they are.

So what are you waiting for? Hurry as stocks won’t last!

Everybody has an opinion about how the world works - “Nothing ever goes right”, “People can’t be trusted”, Life is difficult”.... Sometimes we adopt these mantras as our own because we have heard them so many times in the past, surely they must be correct. And other times we don’t even realise that they are subconsciously shaping the world around us in ways that may not necessarily be to our advantage.

These beliefs come from other people’s experience of life and have nothing whatsoever to do with our own journey. The trick is to discover which ones limit our potential, keeping us Earthbound and which ones inspire and lift, bringing us a step closer to flying.  

Once we are open to the idea of an internal spring clean we can walk weightlessly down the high street until we eventually find the Prada Couture of beliefs about the world, sparkling in the window, just waiting to be worn beautifully for the first time.

Go on, treat yourself...You are worth it!

The extravagance of love

There I was, 8 years old with my amazing A-Team duvet cover pulled up over my head, a question burning into my brain. It was keeping me awake and I needed an answer - How many people in the world can you love at one time and does the heart eventually fill up like my shoebox crammed with transformers? I drifted off to sleep that night having used up all of the fingers on both my tiny hands to count with, still no closer to a solution.

27 years and many loves later I am realising something. With all the things that should be used sparingly in life, love isn’t one of them.

So I say let’s be extravagant! Never be afraid to shout it, sing it, whisper it, scream it, chant it, show it, feel it or write it. Exercise no caution. Let it all fly out! It’s surprising how, the more we give, the more we have to give.

Opportunities to express love in all its forms are everywhere. We need to take our love ration books, tear them into a million pieces and throw them up into the air and watch as the pieces of our heart flutter outwards to land wherever they are needed.

I love you!

Keeping up with the Joneses

“Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realised how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level” - Quentin Crisp

  

Some people just have it all don’t they! - The immaculate home, the size 28 waist, the perfect job that you would do anything for. The smile on their face tells you that all is rosy in the manicured garden. You peep sneakily through the curtain to watch as the removal men take out each piece of furniture and make a mental note to start saving for the sofa in mocha and do 1000 more sit ups whilst waiting for it to arrive.

Surely then life will be flawless? After all, they seem to be extremely happy.

But are the Joneses trying frantically to keep up with the Patels who are trying to keep up with the Smiths?

We expend so much energy in life comparing ourselves to other people that we can forget momentarily who we really are. Instead of celebrating our beautiful uniqueness, we try to squeeze into a differently shaped hole which inevitably leads to us feeling not good enough.

The plain truth is that there is absolutely no-one else on this planet who can be you better than...well, you!

We are the real deal, authentically perfect in all our imperfections.

Breakfast with a friend

As my eyes slowly opened to see the early morning sun peeking through a gap in the curtains, I was aware of a strange tip-tapping at the window. Stumbling sleepily across the room I pulled back the curtain to find, staring up at me, a beautiful mallard duck. With eyes locked, our curiosity over each other held us fixated. I couldn’t help smiling broadly as I stared at my new friend who had wandered over to look for me whilst I was sleeping just minutes earlier.

Looking into his beautifully cheeky eyes, I started to think about all the things that make up his being and what I admire most about him. His feathers are perfectly waterproofed allowing any unwanted and hurtful stuff to flow away like water off a duck’s back. His ability to take off almost vertically to clear any obstacle is an inspiration to anyone who believes that it is too challenging to soar in the face of adversity. Once in flight, my friend can reach speeds of up to 70 ft per second because he believes it is possible. He also does an awesome job of looking super cool and composed as he works hard to move forward in the current filled water.

I decided it was breakfast time and we bonded over a loaf of bread which was well received by both of us. After our feast he tilted his head and stared at me for a moment. We were both still, my heart wide open. Everything stopped. Then with one last tip of his head, I watched as he turned, quacked and waddled away back into the forest.

I laughed and wished him a long and happy life.

My new friend would love you to share his story on your Facebook and Twitter. Maybe even sign up and follow this blog... (he is a cheeky duck afterall).  

Reverse

I find it is always best to step over people to get to where you want and take whatever you wish. You can be as rude as you like too.

It is actually quite funny to find someone’s Achilles heel and cut into it deeply.

Sometimes we all need to vent our anger and frustrations, it is only natural and it can be hugely entertaining to drag people down and belittle them until the sweet reward of salty tears flow bitterly down their cheeks-always brings a smile to one’s face.

We are not here to help or care for anyone and you have to look after numero uno.

Insults are always a reliable method to ensure that we stay one step ahead. Every man is an island and we should never forget that it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there!

So feel free to push into queues, bash people out of the way and never, ever smile.

Ignore the Big Issue sellers, sales assistants and everyone on the tube. Never open up your heart as it will only ever lead to heartbreak and finally, do not, under any circumstances, love or respect yourself.

Have a nice day!(for real) 

Chatter

 

 

Ooh it is nice and warm in here...I wonder if the heating is on or if the chef has the oven door open...this is a good table - I like window seats...I wonder how my hair looks after being caught in the wind...”Thank you. Urm, just a beer please. My friend will be turning up in a minute”...It is quiet in here tonight...nice candle - would be lovely with a bubble bath...everyone else here is in a couple...I wonder if they think I am eating alone? Maybe they are whispering that I don’t have any friends...that would be embarrassing...The wax on my finger is starting to burn a little - just leave the candle alone...If I get my phone out, they will think that I am busy and have lots to do...no new messages...I hope she turns up soon, I feel like people are looking over...Another swig of beer I think...damn, it’s nearly finished already...I remember this song from years ago...Mmm what do I fancy to eat?

We try every trick in the book to distract ourselves. We read, text, hum, think, ponder, remember and wish. Sitting here in this restaurant, waiting, it occurs to me that the one thing we very rarely do is just be. To still the mind and free ourselves from all the chatter which acts as a constant narrator to life. I can’t help but wonder what lies in the silence - the secret to life, eternal youth, this week’s lottery numbers?

 I make a quick mental note to investigate this further before the door swings open and I hear the muffled words from behind “I am meeting a friend, he’s over there by the window”. I smile, welcoming the interruption.

I do

Once upon a time there lived a lonely prince. He longed for true love to come his way and would sit gazing hopefully out of the window across the kingdom for his beautiful princess to finally arrive...

I, like millions of others on every continent, sat watching the happy couple lean in and steal a kiss on the balcony. Everything stopped for a second or two and any cynicism that existed, gently floated away as I smiled for them – a scene straight out of a fairy tale.

I started to wonder about the many different ways we all have of celebrating our unions and stumbled across what must have been the out-takes from the bedtime stories read to me as a child.

The Tujia tribe sees the bride singing ‘The crying marriage song’ in which she weeps in different tones to create her own tuneful melodies in the run up to the big day.

In Germany, the bride is kidnapped by friends and the groom has to buy the help of a search party in the form of drinks along the way.

And In the community of Tidong, the bride and groom are not allowed to use the bathroom at all for 3 days and 3 nights to ensure a life of happiness and success!

There are many colourful examples of weird and wonderful wedding traditions but once the sun has set over the horizon on the special day and all the rituals have fallen away, two people remain who have found their way into each others’ lives forever.

In the end, it’s all love in its many forms and perhaps having an open heart is the one thing that will help us live happily ever after...






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Everything

As I lie on my back with the warm grass tickling my skin, I look up. The sky is crystal blue and the dazzling rays twinkle through the swaying branches overhead. The plane full of people draws a white line 37,000 ft above and disappears behind the trees. I close my eyes and feel everything around me-the slight breeze on my arms, the warmth on my face, the money spider struggling to make its way across my hairy leg. I love those moments where I can shut out the world and just be. Life is so full of ‘stuff’ that we sometimes get lost in it like my eight legged friend weaving in and out.

I watch the family walking past and wonder if, one day in years to come, the little girl will lay on the grass looking up and remember that beautiful sunny Easter morning she took her mum and dad to the park.

My reverie is abruptly shattered by the sound of a screaming girlfriend being unsuspectingly pushed into the lido pool, followed by a big splash and louder laughter. I smile as a bee buzzes past my nose and makes me move my head to the side.

Everything is perfect, and for the briefest of moments, I have everything I will ever need.

Life is beautiful.






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Blue Spandex

‘With great power, comes great responsibility’

Uncle Ben – Spider-man

There is that beautiful scene in Superman where our hero flies right up out of the Earth’s atmosphere and using all his incredible strength and speed, circles our planet to reverse its spin. This turns back the clock and he is able to get to his beloved Lois just in time to save her life. She never finds out what her true love did for her on that sunny afternoon.

I have always been captivated by the power of love and what it can force us to do whether we like it or not. It makes mothers lift up cars to save babies and people run into burning buildings to rescue a perfect stranger.

Heroes come in many shapes and sizes and even in the absence of blue lycra or a truth lasso, we are amazing. We can use our super-powered hearing to really listen to someone who desperately needs to be heard, and tune our X-ray vision to look right into the heart of someone who is hurting and needs a hug. Hell, we can even use our super strength to push through limitations and knock them right out of our way.

None of us are bulletproof and at various points in our life we feel the impact of emotional shrapnel crashing into us, sometimes unexpectedly. Sure, they leave scars, but the wounds remain skin deep. We are stronger and more heroic than we give ourselves credit for.

And sometimes the change from zero to hero can happen faster than you can run into a phone booth and spin around.

Now, more than ever, this planet needs superheroes.

So what is your special power?