The canyon

I fastened my seat belt tightly, checked it and tugged on it again for good measure. I pulled on my headphones as the propellers began to turn, quickly matching the speed of my thoughts. In a few short seconds, with all the pre-flight checks made, the tarmac gently drifted away from us as we took to the air. I couldn't believe that I was actually doing the one thing which I vowed I would never do.
In that moment I realised that I had no choice but to let go of everything. From way up here, the only thing I had any control over were my thoughts. I decided that I wouldn't miss this for the world; and so I breathed. With every intake of air I felt my body relax and let go. I suddenly began to smile as I looked down over the Hoover Dam, the sun glistening on the water. Circling around, we continued up and out towards the canyon.
After gently touching down onto rocky earth, I stepped out into one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. I looked out across the horizon and couldn't help but wonder about the nature of fear and how it can prevent us from doing certain things in life; Moments which enrich and colour the world around us.
Sometimes in life, we have to embrace our fears and do the one thing which terrifies us the most in order to feel truly alive. And in that moment, I felt more alive than ever.

Broken wings

I always made sure that I got to my spot just in time to watch the sun disappear over the horizon and into the sea. Sitting on cool pebbles, I waited for the spectacle to begin with just the sound of lapping waves and squawking gulls to keep me company.
I knew when it was about to start by the eerie silence that washed over the abandoned pier. I would wait and wait and wait...
Then all at once, they appeared; hundreds of starlings would burst out into the crimson sky and begin to swarm around like bees, weaving in and out of each other as if choreographed by Matthew Bourne himself. Transfixed by their aerial acrobatics, every twist and turn took my breath away. It was a beautiful show, worthy of a standing ovation.
Our own style of flight changes from day to day; Sometimes we glide effortlessly like an eagle, wings spread, riding high on warm currents and a gentle breeze. Other days, like a swallow, we flap manically just to stay aloft through life's challenges and our wings are left a little battered and bruised. These are the moments in which we think we will never fly again...
But we always do. We were designed that way and can fly with broken wings.

B.F.F

"Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."
- Eleanor Roosevelt


My best friend and I have always had a tempestuous relationship.
I've known him for years and we have gone through so much together. We've flown across oceans and walked on desert, drank Spritz in Italian piazzas and ate sandwiches in the Grand Canyon. I remember us crying in the dark once at a sad movie and laughing loudly afterwards until it hurt. We have had so much fun.
Some days I really feel his support and his kind words encourage me. Occasionally, when frightened, he will judge me and effortlessly put me down, knowing exactly which buttons to push. Sometimes he tells me that I am not good enough and that I am going to fail, always directly to my face.
In spite of all this though, I know that he will always be right by my side forever and I need to constantly work on the relationship I have with him. He is after all, part of me - my history and my future wrapped into one.
We all have a best friend inside us and it's this relationship which is the most important. We can nurture this friendship in a supportive and loving way so that no matter what, there will always be that confidant with whom we can trust, who will always have our back and tell us that we are good enough and that we can do it!
Be your own BFF. 




Don't forget that my piece for the brilliantly creative PoV magazine comes out tomorrow so make sure to download it for free. It's going to be great.
www.povmagazine.co.uk


So, as it's a new year, I thought it would be fun to add a little something to the mix...Hey, why not I hear you cry. This week I have added a short poll (just to the right of the post) so why not take a look and vote.
 
Please keep your comments coming as it's always great to hear from you. Don’t forget you can share and subscribe too if you fancy - just saying.

Resolutions

The bongs rang out, hairs stood up and the breeze of hope rushed in. The warm embrace of each resolution hung heavy in the air set against a backdrop of spectacular pyrotechnics.
Well, first was the inspiring 'To get fit and tone up', followed closely by the vaguer 'Sort out my career' which was then tailed by the troublesome 'Eat less chocolate'...
I am sure I'm not the only one who makes such internal declarations every New Year. With all the best intentions, the year usually starts off positively and then slowly, one by one, old habits begin to creep in through the cat flap. Before you know it, you are making the same resolutions twelve months later all the while thinking 'This will be the year...'
For 2012 I have a different plan.
My list is shorter and weighs less heavily on my shoulders. It's time to simplify. This year my resolution is this: When presented with a choice, I will ask myself 'What would the most incredible version of me do?' and wait for the answer.
Changes mostly arrive when we aren't looking and sometimes our mini successes come to rest right next to us without fanfare. But they come anyway and bring us one step closer to the person we wish to be.
We are growing every day. Each moment is an exciting new beginning and a perfect opportunity to show the world how amazing we truly are. You are!

A year of sunsets

35,000ft in the air, I soar high above the clouds which lie like eider pillows all around. As the plane banks gracefully to the right, the last remaining rays of golden sun splash onto my face and I close my eyes. In a few short minutes the shimmering light will be gone marking the end of another day. 
Gazing out of the icy window, I can't help but look back over the year and reflect on where I have journeyed. Memories flash behind my eyes like a slide show and set my mind racing faster than the speed of light.
There is a moment just before the sun has completely disappeared from sight that always fills me with a sense of hope.
Sometimes in life we make mistakes. We say things we wish we hadn't and do things we don't feel proud of. Every day is a new opportunity to grow and move forward. Just as the sun sets on another year, I realise that there is only now; nothing else matters. We can't change the past or live in the future. 
The greatest gift we have is of love and forgiveness and once we give it to ourselves, anything is possible.



On this, the eve of a sparkling new year, I hope 2012 brings you everything your heart truly desires and much, much more. Shine brightly!
Also, thank you from the bottom of my heart for following the blog and being part of my malleable reality. I love you.

Angelic kiss

It sat quietly in its bubble wrap for a year after making its way down from the dusty loft in my old family home, now gone. I carefully remove the Sellotape and roll off its protective blanket as light suddenly hits the back and brings it to life once again.
I remember it twisting slowly on the branch as a child and being fascinated with the way it would twinkle in between the colourful fairly lights. I loved the way the two angels were kissing in front of the miniature tree – they always made me smile.
Lifting it onto my own tree for the first time, I am amazed at how easily it fits in with the rest of the decorations, whilst at the same time, standing out. A warm sense of comfort washes over me and an undeniable connection to my past resonates out into the room.
Nestled in between gold tinsel, it witnessed countless family Christmases and listened to the laughter that spilled out of us effortlessly. Every single member of my family has touched this decoration and gazed upon the kissing angels. And now it lives with me to continue a tradition of being surrounded by love and laughter.
The legacy of love within my family is vast and I vow to always hold onto this gift.
I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas and may it be filled with all the love and laughter in the world!


Exciting news! - I have just written my first piece for a great new online magazine called PoV which comes out in January. I know it is destined for great things and will keep you posted on its release.
You can check it out at www.povmagazine.co.uk

Silent white

With a mighty push, the snow beneath you crunches and you're off. Quickly gaining momentum, the icy winter air hits your face and almost takes your breath away. Trees start to blur all around as adrenaline rushes through every part of your body. You are completely liberated, just you and your sledge gliding gracefully downwards.
Feeling the sledge begin to lose speed, I would always lurch to the side and come rolling off with dramatic flair to highlight the end of the journey. With snow still clumped heavily in my hat, I would turn and make my way back to the top once again, a step at a time. This was always the longest part of the adventure. Faithfully dragging the sledge behind me, I couldn't wait to push off at the top once again to fly like a bird.
Years later, I feel that same shift in the air and know that the season is transforming once again. Snow is getting ready to fall bringing with it a change of scenery.
A part of me smiles at the chaos that is caused by the silent arrival of snow. Cars begin to slow down, trains stop running and the city gets just that little bit quieter.
As children, waking up to a blanket of snow was the most exciting thing in the world, ever! Every street corner became a playground and each untouched layer of crisp, white snow was an open invitation to run through it with wild abandon, far too tempting to walk past.
Snow brings with it a subtle reminder to look for every shining piece of fun in life and enjoy each moment.
Take the time to build the snowman you haven't seen for years, and make him smile.

Wheels and wings

Everything slowed down as his body catapulted through the air. Memories of childhood dreams, first loves and lazy holidays flashed in front of his eyes faster than the speed of light. A life lived condensed down to a movie of seconds.
Was this it?
Back broken, he fought with every single breath that could be mustered through punctured lungs, completely unaware of the most incredible feat he would bring to life in a few years.
The tiny engine spluttered into action as some pre-flight checks were made. A couple of minutes later his microlight lifted gracefully into the sky and the 12,000-mile airborne adventure began.
Through buffeting winds and torrential rain, he continued on his quest over shark-infested water and never-ending deserts.
Looking down from 5,000ft, with nothing but space all around, he soared high above the limitations of his wheelchair and was as free as a bird.
Cruising gently over 19 countries, he took every single binding belief, tore them into a hundred pieces and used them as fuel for his epic journey.
When we take our bodies for granted, we forget what truly spectacular things we can achieve if we only put our minds to it.
Dave Sykes is living proof that the only restrictions we have are those we choose to believe in.

Don't forget to comment, share and follow. Much love.

Inescapable addiction

-Admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion
-Recognising a higher power that can give strength
-Examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced     member)
-Making amends for these errors
-Learning to live a new life with a new code of behaviour
-Helping others who suffer from the same addictions or compulsions

Taken from the 12-step program



My name is Jeff and I'm an addict.
I have been hooked for pretty much my whole life. It got into my system when I was inside the womb and has been coursing through my veins ever since. I had no choice. To me it seems natural and I really don't know any different.
It is most certainly not something I could ever live without and would never want to go through a cold turkey. The high is too incredible to give up. It uplifts, awakens and expands me from the inside out.
I felt the absence of it once and it was just too painful to bear. But I got through it, as do we all, and came out the other side stronger and wiser.
I have discovered that the more I share my fix with others, the more of it I get in return. There is an endless supply.
We all want it, need it and can't live without it. It is the foundation of everything and the most powerful thing on this planet. Let’s embrace it and give into its mighty pull.

My name is Jeff and I'm a love addict.
Love is my drug and I will never give it up.

The fog

As I sleepily pulled open the blinds, something was different. It took me a few seconds to realise that everything had vanished. Mother Nature had pulled off one of her greatest illusions whilst I was asleep. All 800ft of glass, steel and concrete was gone in a theatrical flourish. Even the flashing beacon at the apex had disappeared. Canary Wharf had vanished along with everything else around it. David Copperfield couldn't have done it better.
Zipping up my jacket, I took my first step outside just as the damp scent hit my nostrils and rushed down into my lungs. Horizon was replaced by an eerie blanket of dense fog with nothing but silhouettes of bare trees to guide the way. The world seemed like a different place.
Journeying into the thick of it, I couldn't help but wonder what it means to feel lost. Sometimes we find ourselves in a personal fog with no sense of direction and our questions are greeted with silence. The sense of disorientation is so palpable; we forget that beyond the clouds is a bright shining sun of potential that has been there the whole time.
Some days are more dazzling than others and sometimes we just need to get caught in a fog in order to see things clearly.

il bel viaggio

I once whizzed through the streets of Florence on the back of a bike...
Squeezing the helmet onto my head, I felt the foam cover my ears and turn the bustle of the city down to a muffle. Once I was settled in my seat, my friend turned around to look at me.
"Ready?” he asked with a cheeky grin. With a nod from me, we were off. I was amazed at how quickly we accelerated over the cobbled street and out into the open. I'm sure I felt my hair blowing in the wind under the helmet. The rush literally took my breath away. With every twist and turn, I had to remind myself to hold on for dear life and stay seated. Cars came and went in a Florentine blur. After a while, I felt my body relax as I started to breathe. It was amazing and exhilarating and freeing. The city looked stunning from this velocity.
And on we rode. I never once stopped smiling.
"How was that?" he asked pulling off his helmet.
"Incredible!" I declared with a massive grin.
Stepping off, he laughed and confided that because I held on so tightly to the bike, it was harder for him to ride and actually changed the way we handled the road. He could feel every bit of tension in my body through the bike.
I realised in that moment that life will always have its hairy moments and sometimes we just have to let go and move with the flow. The harder we hold on, the more difficult the ride.
The beautiful streets of Florence whispered in my ear that evening. She told me to be light with life and everything will always be ok.

Don't forget to follow, share and comment. Grazie mille!

There's something about Helen

As she held out her hand, I noticed her perfectly polished nails which shone a deep red in the dimly lit cabaret bar. Her long brown hair glistened as she popped up onto a stool next to me and settled in at the bar. Drink in hand we wished our mutual friend luck as he turned and walked backstage to get ready for the show. There was a shy confidence about her and I liked the way that her eyes would glance momentarily at the floor before answering a question.
We talked about life, love and everything in between. I laughed a lot. She was charming and intelligent.
Stepping onto the last tube train of the evening I followed her to take a seat and watched as the doors closed.
As we set off I began to notice that other people were interested in Helen. Her lightness filled the carriage and the passengers couldn't help but look in her direction. There was a buzz around the carriage that I had never witnessed before.
We chatted until the train slowed to signal my stop. Slinging my bag over my body I said goodbye and how much I had enjoyed her company. I kissed her cheek, gave her a hug and stepped out onto the warm, empty platform.
Watching the bright lights of the train slowly accelerate and vanish into the dark, I suddenly felt sad.
Once out into the cool night air, I wondered at what point she had realised that she was living in the wrong body.
Her personal courage and conviction was stunning and despite now being a woman, her balls were bigger than any I had ever seen.
Fear often stops us from declaring to the world who we truly are and the more honest we are with ourselves and others, the more inspiring and beautiful we become.



Thank you to this courageous woman for living your truth and also to my brave friend Mark who is in the massive process of coming out. May you find your own amazing power.

The fear

I place my fingers through the flowing water and wait until the temperature is just right. Stepping into the bath, the cold hits the soles of my feet as I pull the curtain closed. My body is soaked in seconds and I sigh with contentment as warm water runs down over my face….

Suddenly I am stopped dead in my tracks with shampoo still covering my hair. Where did that bang come from? Instinct tells me to open my eyes and see what made the noise but the soap now running over my face stops me from doing so. I stand there with eyes tightly closed listening to the sound of water splashing into the bath and escaping down the plughole.

At that moment a million images flash through my mind at breakneck speed. I see a man wearing a balaclava, rifling through my underwear drawer and I see a framed photograph being projected across the room by an angry spirit and I see the shower scene in Psycho being played out in glorious Technicolor, previewing what awaits me just beyond the dripping curtain.

Quickly rinsing the soap from my eyes, I turn off the water and jump out onto the bath mat. I fling a towel around my waist (one has to retain some semblance of dignity, even when facing ghoulish monsters) and step off the mat. Courage built up, I stride into the bedroom to find...nothing!  Everything is just as I left it except for the wet footprints which now mark the room.

That’s the funny thing about fear. We can build situations up so much in our minds that they sometimes appear bigger than they actually are. In reality nothing is more terrifying than the fear itself and once we turn to face it head on, we wonder what we were so scared of in the first place.

Just don’t look under the bed….Happy Halloween!

Day out

Watching as he slowly climbs, one foot in front of the other, he reaches the top. Triumphantly, he stands at the peak for a minute to take in the view - the wind blowing through silky brown hair. Lifting his hands to his face, he pushes it aside before beginning the 3 second journey to the bottom of the slide, accompanied by a chorus of laughter from the pair of us. 
Lifting him high into the air I spin him around.
"That was fun! What shall we do now?" he asks excitedly as I take his tiny hand in mine.
"I know a really cool place, you’ll love it" I say with a smile.
Feeling the sand in between our toes, we walk along listening to the waves gently crash against the shore and the greedy seagulls, circle overhead. The sun warming our faces as every few steps, he bends down to pick up another smooth pebble or a shell. One by one he places them delicately into my hand as if they were priceless treasures, to join the rest of them in my now bulging pocket.
There is something so vulnerable about him; I vow to protect him with everything I have. I will never leave him and never let him forget how special he is.
And on we walk until the sun turns a golden red and the sparkling sea moves out to follow it, leaving behind glistening sand.
"Little man", I say as I scoop him up into my arms and give him a big squeeze, "You can be whatever you want to be! Never forget that. You are amazing".
He giggles. I laugh.
With that, we turn off the beach, and slowly make our way home.
"I love you" he says, still looking up at the evening sky, now filling with stars.
"I love you too little man. I always will".

If I could have a single day, that's how I would spend it with my tiny self. It would be beautiful.

Tea for two

"What would you like to drink?"
"Hmmmm, do you have any herbal tea?"
My host's knowing laughter echoed loudly in my ears as the cupboard door swung open with a flourish. I half expected to discover a bikini-clad assistant inside, waiting to vanish in a puff of theatrical smoke. Instead, the most colourful array of teas and coffees never before seen outside a supermarket lay before me.
"I don't even like half of these, but I love to be able to offer my guests anything they like. I want them to be happy", he said pulling a face. I laughed.
Slowly sipping on my newly opened Lemon and Ginger tea, I couldn't help but think about what this meant. Instantly I felt special.
It was such a small thing really but the warmth and thoughtfulness of it made me smile.
I wondered about how many other people had sat at this kitchen table and sipped on a cup of carefully chosen Chamomile, or Darjeeling, or Rosehip & Elderflower...
We all love it when someone does something to make us feel special and unique. That warm glow inside as we are filled with a sense of happiness.
Every day there are opportunities all around in which we can make someone feel just that little bit better - whether it be with a genuine smile, a touch or just holding a door open.
Taking the time to acknowledge a friend or colleague's nice new haircut can make their day and send a ripple out into the world.
Some people say that it is the small things that matter the most, and as I finish the last drop of my tea, I know this to be true.