Second hand

FOR SALE: A complete set of very well worn, second hand beliefs.

These have proven to be very useful to their previous owners and come in one size only.

You may find them a little restricting at times and they will almost certainly feel uncomfortable, causing imbalance and minor irritation. As the new owner you are obliged to carry them around 24/7 regardless of how heavy they are.

So what are you waiting for? Hurry as stocks won’t last!

Everybody has an opinion about how the world works - “Nothing ever goes right”, “People can’t be trusted”, Life is difficult”.... Sometimes we adopt these mantras as our own because we have heard them so many times in the past, surely they must be correct. And other times we don’t even realise that they are subconsciously shaping the world around us in ways that may not necessarily be to our advantage.

These beliefs come from other people’s experience of life and have nothing whatsoever to do with our own journey. The trick is to discover which ones limit our potential, keeping us Earthbound and which ones inspire and lift, bringing us a step closer to flying.  

Once we are open to the idea of an internal spring clean we can walk weightlessly down the high street until we eventually find the Prada Couture of beliefs about the world, sparkling in the window, just waiting to be worn beautifully for the first time.

Go on, treat yourself...You are worth it!

The extravagance of love

There I was, 8 years old with my amazing A-Team duvet cover pulled up over my head, a question burning into my brain. It was keeping me awake and I needed an answer - How many people in the world can you love at one time and does the heart eventually fill up like my shoebox crammed with transformers? I drifted off to sleep that night having used up all of the fingers on both my tiny hands to count with, still no closer to a solution.

27 years and many loves later I am realising something. With all the things that should be used sparingly in life, love isn’t one of them.

So I say let’s be extravagant! Never be afraid to shout it, sing it, whisper it, scream it, chant it, show it, feel it or write it. Exercise no caution. Let it all fly out! It’s surprising how, the more we give, the more we have to give.

Opportunities to express love in all its forms are everywhere. We need to take our love ration books, tear them into a million pieces and throw them up into the air and watch as the pieces of our heart flutter outwards to land wherever they are needed.

I love you!

Keeping up with the Joneses

“Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realised how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level” - Quentin Crisp

  

Some people just have it all don’t they! - The immaculate home, the size 28 waist, the perfect job that you would do anything for. The smile on their face tells you that all is rosy in the manicured garden. You peep sneakily through the curtain to watch as the removal men take out each piece of furniture and make a mental note to start saving for the sofa in mocha and do 1000 more sit ups whilst waiting for it to arrive.

Surely then life will be flawless? After all, they seem to be extremely happy.

But are the Joneses trying frantically to keep up with the Patels who are trying to keep up with the Smiths?

We expend so much energy in life comparing ourselves to other people that we can forget momentarily who we really are. Instead of celebrating our beautiful uniqueness, we try to squeeze into a differently shaped hole which inevitably leads to us feeling not good enough.

The plain truth is that there is absolutely no-one else on this planet who can be you better than...well, you!

We are the real deal, authentically perfect in all our imperfections.

Breakfast with a friend

As my eyes slowly opened to see the early morning sun peeking through a gap in the curtains, I was aware of a strange tip-tapping at the window. Stumbling sleepily across the room I pulled back the curtain to find, staring up at me, a beautiful mallard duck. With eyes locked, our curiosity over each other held us fixated. I couldn’t help smiling broadly as I stared at my new friend who had wandered over to look for me whilst I was sleeping just minutes earlier.

Looking into his beautifully cheeky eyes, I started to think about all the things that make up his being and what I admire most about him. His feathers are perfectly waterproofed allowing any unwanted and hurtful stuff to flow away like water off a duck’s back. His ability to take off almost vertically to clear any obstacle is an inspiration to anyone who believes that it is too challenging to soar in the face of adversity. Once in flight, my friend can reach speeds of up to 70 ft per second because he believes it is possible. He also does an awesome job of looking super cool and composed as he works hard to move forward in the current filled water.

I decided it was breakfast time and we bonded over a loaf of bread which was well received by both of us. After our feast he tilted his head and stared at me for a moment. We were both still, my heart wide open. Everything stopped. Then with one last tip of his head, I watched as he turned, quacked and waddled away back into the forest.

I laughed and wished him a long and happy life.

My new friend would love you to share his story on your Facebook and Twitter. Maybe even sign up and follow this blog... (he is a cheeky duck afterall).  

Reverse

I find it is always best to step over people to get to where you want and take whatever you wish. You can be as rude as you like too.

It is actually quite funny to find someone’s Achilles heel and cut into it deeply.

Sometimes we all need to vent our anger and frustrations, it is only natural and it can be hugely entertaining to drag people down and belittle them until the sweet reward of salty tears flow bitterly down their cheeks-always brings a smile to one’s face.

We are not here to help or care for anyone and you have to look after numero uno.

Insults are always a reliable method to ensure that we stay one step ahead. Every man is an island and we should never forget that it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there!

So feel free to push into queues, bash people out of the way and never, ever smile.

Ignore the Big Issue sellers, sales assistants and everyone on the tube. Never open up your heart as it will only ever lead to heartbreak and finally, do not, under any circumstances, love or respect yourself.

Have a nice day!(for real) 

Chatter

 

 

Ooh it is nice and warm in here...I wonder if the heating is on or if the chef has the oven door open...this is a good table - I like window seats...I wonder how my hair looks after being caught in the wind...”Thank you. Urm, just a beer please. My friend will be turning up in a minute”...It is quiet in here tonight...nice candle - would be lovely with a bubble bath...everyone else here is in a couple...I wonder if they think I am eating alone? Maybe they are whispering that I don’t have any friends...that would be embarrassing...The wax on my finger is starting to burn a little - just leave the candle alone...If I get my phone out, they will think that I am busy and have lots to do...no new messages...I hope she turns up soon, I feel like people are looking over...Another swig of beer I think...damn, it’s nearly finished already...I remember this song from years ago...Mmm what do I fancy to eat?

We try every trick in the book to distract ourselves. We read, text, hum, think, ponder, remember and wish. Sitting here in this restaurant, waiting, it occurs to me that the one thing we very rarely do is just be. To still the mind and free ourselves from all the chatter which acts as a constant narrator to life. I can’t help but wonder what lies in the silence - the secret to life, eternal youth, this week’s lottery numbers?

 I make a quick mental note to investigate this further before the door swings open and I hear the muffled words from behind “I am meeting a friend, he’s over there by the window”. I smile, welcoming the interruption.

I do

Once upon a time there lived a lonely prince. He longed for true love to come his way and would sit gazing hopefully out of the window across the kingdom for his beautiful princess to finally arrive...

I, like millions of others on every continent, sat watching the happy couple lean in and steal a kiss on the balcony. Everything stopped for a second or two and any cynicism that existed, gently floated away as I smiled for them – a scene straight out of a fairy tale.

I started to wonder about the many different ways we all have of celebrating our unions and stumbled across what must have been the out-takes from the bedtime stories read to me as a child.

The Tujia tribe sees the bride singing ‘The crying marriage song’ in which she weeps in different tones to create her own tuneful melodies in the run up to the big day.

In Germany, the bride is kidnapped by friends and the groom has to buy the help of a search party in the form of drinks along the way.

And In the community of Tidong, the bride and groom are not allowed to use the bathroom at all for 3 days and 3 nights to ensure a life of happiness and success!

There are many colourful examples of weird and wonderful wedding traditions but once the sun has set over the horizon on the special day and all the rituals have fallen away, two people remain who have found their way into each others’ lives forever.

In the end, it’s all love in its many forms and perhaps having an open heart is the one thing that will help us live happily ever after...






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Everything

As I lie on my back with the warm grass tickling my skin, I look up. The sky is crystal blue and the dazzling rays twinkle through the swaying branches overhead. The plane full of people draws a white line 37,000 ft above and disappears behind the trees. I close my eyes and feel everything around me-the slight breeze on my arms, the warmth on my face, the money spider struggling to make its way across my hairy leg. I love those moments where I can shut out the world and just be. Life is so full of ‘stuff’ that we sometimes get lost in it like my eight legged friend weaving in and out.

I watch the family walking past and wonder if, one day in years to come, the little girl will lay on the grass looking up and remember that beautiful sunny Easter morning she took her mum and dad to the park.

My reverie is abruptly shattered by the sound of a screaming girlfriend being unsuspectingly pushed into the lido pool, followed by a big splash and louder laughter. I smile as a bee buzzes past my nose and makes me move my head to the side.

Everything is perfect, and for the briefest of moments, I have everything I will ever need.

Life is beautiful.






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Blue Spandex

‘With great power, comes great responsibility’

Uncle Ben – Spider-man

There is that beautiful scene in Superman where our hero flies right up out of the Earth’s atmosphere and using all his incredible strength and speed, circles our planet to reverse its spin. This turns back the clock and he is able to get to his beloved Lois just in time to save her life. She never finds out what her true love did for her on that sunny afternoon.

I have always been captivated by the power of love and what it can force us to do whether we like it or not. It makes mothers lift up cars to save babies and people run into burning buildings to rescue a perfect stranger.

Heroes come in many shapes and sizes and even in the absence of blue lycra or a truth lasso, we are amazing. We can use our super-powered hearing to really listen to someone who desperately needs to be heard, and tune our X-ray vision to look right into the heart of someone who is hurting and needs a hug. Hell, we can even use our super strength to push through limitations and knock them right out of our way.

None of us are bulletproof and at various points in our life we feel the impact of emotional shrapnel crashing into us, sometimes unexpectedly. Sure, they leave scars, but the wounds remain skin deep. We are stronger and more heroic than we give ourselves credit for.

And sometimes the change from zero to hero can happen faster than you can run into a phone booth and spin around.

Now, more than ever, this planet needs superheroes.

So what is your special power?

April showers

As the darkening clouds churn above and quickly expand, I know what is coming.

Feeling the gusty wind pick up to send the white blossom dancing around me like confetti, all the hairs on my body stand up to greet the change. That familiar scent hangs in the air; a mixture of damp, woodland foliage and floral cardboard. Remembering how the sun had tenderly stroked my hair this afternoon, I quicken my pace along the tree lined street towards home.

I start to think about our beautiful season that has returned once again with a pile of delicately wrapped gifts stashed under her arms and a little surprise. I have missed this old friend.

Spring always fills me with optimism and hope - a breath of fresh air to carry us along our journey. It is the season to forgive and forget, to let go and grow.

I smile as I close my eyes and feel the first few drops of cool spring rain splash onto my face and run down my neck. The heavens open and in less than 3 seconds I am soaked through, but it doesn’t matter one bit. Spring is back!

The woman beside me

Someone is following me.

It has been happening for years. I always feel them right behind me as I am walking home through the abandoned street market in the chilly midnight hours of Sunday, slightly tipsy. And they are there too as I weave in and out of the crammed streets of Covent Garden on a Saturday and even just before I open my eyes first thing in the morning. Sometimes I keep them closed for a few seconds after waking just to see if they make a sound and give up their position. Inches from my fingertips, I could almost reach out and touch them. But I never do and the second I flash open my eyes to the early sun, they have vanished again.

When I was six my beautiful mum made a promise to me and judging by this constant presence in my life, it has never been broken. She stayed true to her word.

I have been blessed to witness the many different relationships that people have with their mothers and the unbreakable bond that connects. It is truly beautiful.

Having this one day a year to acknowledge all that is maternal is a golden opportunity for us to say a heartfelt thank you to those amazing women and to celebrate our connection to the one person who lovingly carried us into being and allowed us to shine our light into the world.

The missing gift

I have looked under the sofa, and in the bed, around the TV and above the wardrobe… Still it eludes me like an invisible city fox.  The worst thing about it is, I have only just realised how precious it was....In the early hours of Sunday morning, 60 minutes went missing!

The absence of this lost hour leaves me with a pocketful of questions and a silver lining of sunny mornings and balmy nights ahead.

Time has a clever way of slipping by unnoticed if we turn our heads for too long. The truly amazing things we can do in those 3,600 seconds are mind-blowing. Everything can change in that moment. You can say ‘I love you!’, ‘Never again!’ and ‘I do!’

Possibilities fill every single minute and if we could just realise how fleeting time is, we would never waste any of it again, not a tiny drop.

Just think how rich life would be for us all if we let go of the past and future and lived for the now. That is where our power truly lies.

As with most things in life, nothing is ever really lost and I feel warmth inside to know that this absent hour is going to fly back to me in a few months time, carrying a gift of a second chance to make a difference.

Size 8

My favourite shoes are a well worn pair of red and white Converse All Star boots with matching double laces. I adore them. I wore them every day on tour in Italy and they have travelled with me thousands of miles like a trusted friend ever since. Sure they are a bit battered and the soles are slowly wearing down but despite walking on pavement, grass, carpet, glass, gravel, sand, steel and snow, they remain. Every inch of wear and tear seems to add a little more character than the day before. One of the bright red laces is shredded at the end following a vicious fight with an angry washing machine. They came out clean(ish) and still smiling at the memory of having once strolled along the Seine at dusk.

We take so many steps in this lifetime that it would be impossible to keep count. Sometimes they are so small they hardly make an imprint, steadily ambling along. And occasionally the strides are so incredibly colossal that we literally vault into a new chapter without so much as a glance behind.

Everyone wears their shoes differently and each pair has their own unique story to tell. Despite all the weight they carry on their journey, they never give up, steady in the knowledge that no one will ever be able to walk a mile in them better than their rightful owner.

Helping hands

At 2:45 pm it was all ok. People were going about their everyday lives. Contracts were being signed, washing was finishing a cycle to the sound of a daytime TV ‘wide show’ playing in the next room and the shop assistant was busily stocking the shelf with a brand new box of Kiri Mochi rice cakes.
In less than a minute life would be turned upside down...
We can go for days without speaking to a stranger preferring instead the conversation with a familiar face. It is easy for us to feel disconnected from the rest of the world....until this.
Even from 5996 miles away, the shockwaves of human despair can be felt beyond any measurable scale. And then something happens...Hands reach across an ocean and people stand to reveal compassionate, beating hearts. Suddenly the World becomes a much smaller place and we are reminded that we are all connected and we are all the same.
My love and thoughts go out to all those who have moved onto somewhere else and to those brave souls who remain.

“We must recognise that the suffering of one person or one nation is the suffering of humanity”
-The Dali Lama

Ripples

There is a time of day that sits just before the sun comes up and the city is still rubbing its eyes that I dedicate to me, just to me and no one else.

I love feeling the cool water rush over my body as I submerge my entire being and for the briefest of moments, vanish from sight like a Vegas illusionist. Everything becomes a muffled echo as I sink deeper into this chlorine scented world. Here under the surface everything feels safe as I am quickly emancipated from the demands and deadlines that hover just above the surface. Despite not having any air down here, I can, once again, breathe deeply.

Limbs moving in harmony to travel a length at a time, the rhythm induces an almost out of body experience allowing my mind to venture outside of its natural habitat and explore the boundaries of thoughts to come up with new, inventive ways of being. I am free and happy.

Life seems to be so full nowadays and it feels as if we never have enough time to do everything. Stress has become the new centre and tiredness is the new status symbol.

So many things demand our attention and the fear of not having ample time to reach our full potential is palpable.

It is so important to have our moment in the day where we can push the panic button on life and just sit in the stillness. Here we can truly listen to the inner voice. The voice that guides us and knows what is important.  The voice that knows we are always going to be ok.